God's Justified Egocentrism and How it is a Manifestation of His Love

Think back on your life, to when you were small. When you weren't being selfish, you wanted to share with those you cared about. If you were eating something good, you wanted to share it with your mom. If you were watching your favorite cartoon, you wanted your dad to watch it too. You wanted to share that flower you found, that rock, that bugger out of your nose. Because sharing something you thought was wonderful is what you did with those you loved. As you got older this trend continued. You shared your favorite music with your friends, your favorite shows, your special spot, your favorite game. When you had a significant other, if you experienced something wonderful, discovered something beautiful, you likely wanted to share it with that person. You wanted to share the beauty of the sunset, the wonder of the stars, the vastness of the Grand Canyon or the delight of New York. 

We wish to share the best things with those we love. We wish for them to feel the joy, happiness, bliss, and delight that we experienced when we encountered those special things. Now think of God, he is the Being from which all of those truly wonderful things you want to share streamed from, they flowed out of him and had their origin in his nature. He's the best thing around, the most beautiful, the most perfect, the most wonderful and oh so many other things. So, because he loves us, he seeks to share himself, he seeks to show himself to us, he desires to bring us into Heaven so we can look upon his face. Everything we have delighted in sharing with those we love are derived from him. Yes, he may be egocentric, but it's because it is really all about him, revolves around him, streams from him, comes back to him. He asks us to look at him not because he is selfish or vain but rather because he loves us and he knows that, truly, there is nothing else we would rather see, nothing else we could delight in more, he shares himself with us because that is the best he has to offer and it is far better than anything we ever attempted to share with those we love...except perhaps seeking to share him as he has shared himself with us.

An Explanation for Soulmates, Kindred Spirits, and Opposites Attracting

God is the totality of goodness, a more complete person than any human could ever be, encompassing all (good) aspects of what makes up personalities. What if our soulmate, our kindred spirit are those whose souls contain the same echoes of God, those same aspects of God that he instilled in our own soul? Our soul sees the same reflection of God in another as we see in ourselves and delights in the familiarity, bonds together because they are made of the same stuff. What if the reason why opposites sometimes attract is because we recognize those aspects of God in another that we are lacking in ourselves and we are seeking a complement, so that by joining our souls we can be made more whole, more fully understand the God we seek to know?

This can be a good thing. In soulmates and kindred spirits we find an understanding heart, someone we can relate to close to perfectly, who views the world as we do, and looks towards heaven with similar eyes. With our opposites we can learn more about the world, we can become more intimate with aspects of God with which we are very unfamiliar, our souls can become more rounded.

It can also be a bad thing.

Without God or with minds shut to his guidance, kindred spirits can unite with ours and determine that the rest of the world is weird or strange, we can convince each other God is just so and nothing else, we can focus together on some aspects of God and not realize there are others that we are completely ignoring.

Without God, when opposites attract, it may be that we are seeking to make ourselves more whole, more rounded, to fill a hole that we cannot fill because it is different and other than our self. But though with God this person can help make us more whole, can help to round us, can help to fill the hole inside us that we do not fully understand; without Him the pieces just won't fit, they may eventually jar and clash together because we each cannot understand why we're both still so incomplete.

Maybe “soulmate” should not only pertain to the kindred spirit types, maybe a mated soul can be an opposite. Kindred souls you can lay one on top of another and they will match, they're hard to distinguish as more than one soul so, in that sense, they are one. Opposite souls you put side by side and they help to fill in each others gaps, you look at them and see a completeness, in that sense, the two make up a one. As a lover, a spouse, I think there would be advantages and disadvantages to both, each would help you grow in different ways, each would challenge you in different ways.

In friendship, I think it is important to have both types, those you can comfortably blend with and those who help to fill in your gaps.

P.S. I know people are never fully kindred spirits or fully opposite spirits, no matter what there will always be little parts that do not match up...with whatever type you are matching.

Christ, the Most Hopeless Romantic

I wrote this as a Facebook note over a year ago and wanted to share it on here in hopes that someone would read it and be encouraged. :)

Do you ever get an idea in your head that will not go away, lingers in your consciousness, and demands to express itself? I sometimes do and the idea behind this is one of those things.

Often when I am in church or hearing or thinking about God/Christ and our relationship to the world, I can't help thinking that Christ's view of us is somewhat of a hopeless romantic's view. I look around and see he seems to have much more faith in us than is justified; his hopes for us seem so hopeful as to be hopeless, he thinks we can move mountains when we cannot move a molehill, and says we would be known by our love when we cannot even love ourselves. Think about it, God has so much faith in us that he made us his ambassadors to the world, Christ prayed for us all to be united as one as he and his Father are one, said we would be known by our love, and told us to be perfect as he and his holy Father are perfect. Pretty ridiculous isn't it? Talk about setting yourself up for a shattered dream and a misplaced hope. What an utterly hopeless romantic, rose-colored glasses wearing, delusional head-in-the-clouds dreamer that guy, Jesus, is.

Wait a minute, who thought we were worth laying down their life for? Who gave up being being an infinite being to be contained in a fleshly body so he could reach out and touch us? Who knows us better than anyone? Christ. Even knowing all he knows or maybe even because he knows all he does, he has faith in us and hope for us. He believes we can be light, salt, and love to the world. He believes that by our actions people can see God. What a horrifying and “awe-full” thought, what a responsibility and honor, what a testimony of faith towards us. But, after all, doesn't the Bible say we are made in God's image and that God is love, so are we not also love? Christ's hope is not misplaced, for God made us in his image and we are clothed in Christ. I think we have a lot more potential...if we could just get over thinking of ourselves as wretched and believe in each other and ourselves as Christ believes in us, who knows, we might even be able to change the world.

My Response to “Marriage Isn't For You”

I'll freely admit, I've always been a hopeless romantic, just ask the girls I wrote poems and letters to oh so long ago. The first time I read the Marriage Isn't For You post, I read through it with a smile on my face, but then before I hit the “share” button, I thought about it some and read it again. After reading through it again something didn't sit just right with me, but I didn't realize what it was until I had read through a bunch of the comments (I don't recommend reading through the comments of anything that has gone viral, it can make you start questioning the sanity and decency of humanity).

All one comment said was, “Marriage is for God,” yeah, this is true, but without expounding, no one knows what the crap you're talking about. Another comment was fairly long but they wrapped it by saying, “God is happiest when we are happiest.” And that caused me to realize what didn't feel right about the post, my “hang-up” word was “happy.”

I went to the Bible to try and learn God's purpose for marriage and, if you simply read Paul's reasons, it's actually a little depressing for a hopeless romantic. Basically, Paul encourages people to stay single, but if they can't control their “passions,” they should marry as a way of having a righteous way of dealing with sexual urges. Well, that's not very romantic and if that's the only reason someone is marrying me, then I think I'll pass. So I went back further, to the verses where God talks about creating Eve. God said “it is not good that the man should be alone” so he paraded every creature in front of Adam that he might name them; even after that, God didn't think their was anything suitable to be a companion for man, to be his “helper” (which the word “helper” here is used elsewhere as a term referring to God as our helper, it is a term of honor). A cat or dog wouldn't do away with man's being alone; even though God walked in the garden with Adam, that didn't take care of Adam being “alone.” So God created Eve to be his companion and to chase away his loneliness.

I think God creates some people with a longing for companionship (an aspect of this being physical intimacy) which cannot be fully filled, while in this flesh, by God or anything else. Maybe it is a weakness, maybe it is better to stay single, if you can, so you can more fully devote yourself to God; but God has his writers again and again compare the relationship between Christ and those he has saved to the marriage relationship. In other words, God thinks marriage is something beautiful that can exemplify aspects of Christ's love as no other thing can.

Why did I get hung-up on the word “happy?” Because I don't think it dives deep enough. First I'll say, maybe the author of the post did intend a deeper meaning, but the commenter I spoke of did not. I'm not sure where and when this idea that what God wants most for us is for us to be happy slipped in, but it's wrong. Christ promised us peace and joy, but he also promised trials and persecutions to those that would follow him.

This next thought was influenced by C.S. Lewis and one of my Bible professors in college, but I think it is also implied in the Bible, “Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete...” James 1:4. The idea is that this world is a schoolroom in which our souls are shaped into beings better suited to heaven, better suited to see God and praise him. C.S. Lewis and many others think suffering is one of God's greatest tools in this shaping (that's not to say he is always the cause of the suffering, only that he uses it).

In one of those poems I wrote when I was young, I spoke about wanting to shield the girl from all pain but of also wanting her to grow, so instead of promising to shield her (which is an impossible promise anyway), I promised to be with her through her pain, to walk beside her.

So why do I think we should marry? To fulfill a longing only another human can fill, and to fill that longing in them. To paint a picture to the world of what Christ's love for his church is. An addition to this painting can be made through having children and your love relationship with them, but if you can't/don't have kids, just focus on making your painting the most beautiful it can be.

Through all of our experiences I think we have the potential to learn aspects of God we could otherwise not learn, that we will one day share with one another once at our heavenly home. If you stay single and Christ is your sole lover, you will learn aspects a married person will not learn. If you marry, through that relationship, you will learn aspects of God's love you would learn no other way. Through having children, you would learn other things. And on and on, in all parts of our life.

So, I'm sorry, dear, wherever and whomever you are, but my primary goal is not to make you happy. A teacher once shared with me that when Paul said,”Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...” what he was saying is that I should live and love towards you in such a way that will make you whole and perfect, so that your soul is better suited to heaven, so that by the time I'm done loving you on this earth, you will be an even more beautiful bride for Christ. My primary goal is to walk beside you, whatever emotions you are feeling, no matter how dark the trial is. I cannot and will not shield you from all pain, but I will experience it with you, try to see the light in the darkness with you, even if it takes years and years and even if we still have to search for it in heaven. I hope we laugh a lot with each other, cause joy to spill from one another's hearts and faces. I will try to love you in such way that makes you more beautiful than you are, more ready for heaven. I hope you will do the same for me.

All that to say, marriage is a tiny bit for me, a little bit for being a light to the world, mostly for you, and all for God.

Book Review for Mistborn and The Well of Ascension by Brandon Sanderson

The Final Empire is a world during a medieval-type era ruled by an immortal self-proclaimed god. It is a society consisting of nobility, slaves (Skaa), and those slaves brave enough to break free to become thieves and black market merchants. Some of the nobility and those with the mixed blood of Skaa and nobility can “burn metals,” which allows them to have powers that enable them to control the emotions of others, increase their strength, push or pull metals, heighten their senses, or shield those whom are burning metals from the prying eyes of those who can sense it. Most do not have any powers, of those that do, the majority only have one; then there are the Mistborn, who can burn all the metals and, thus, make the perfect assassins.

The Final Empire is a world shrouded in nightly mist and falling ash. A world whose sun is veiled, where the plants are brown and only the oldest legends hint at their once being green. Most are scared of the nightly mists, but that is where the Mistborn like to live and go about their work, for they can more easily hide their identities and the mist seems to embrace them as they use their powers.

Sanderson does an excellent job of creating a world a little different from our own, a world containing mists with things shrouded there that are different than anything we know. He does a good job of creating interesting characters that continue to deepen as you “get to know them” and who continue to better get to know themselves, as well. The fact that I cannot really come up with another story to compare it to speaks to its originality, for I have read quite a few stories.

Though Mistborn and The Well of Ascension have a main character who is a teenage girl, I would not consider them “young adult” books (though young adults would probably enjoy them, too). I guess they're a little deeper than most young adult books.

Mistborn is about Kelsier, a madman bent on overthrowing the Lord Ruler, the god who killed his wife and enslaved his people. He may be mad, daring, and reckless but he trusts his thieving crew, his friends, those he loves; even though his wife may have been the one who betrayed him. Even though the one he loved the most may have betrayed him, he chooses to trust, for he knows life is better that way.

It's also about Vin, a girl who tries to stay in the shadows and go unnoticed, who grew up on the streets and drifting from thieving crew to thieving crew with her brother who, above all else, tried to instill in her a sense of distrust, because he thought that was the best chance of her staying alive. To instill this lesson even further, he would beat her and finally abandoned her in a thieving world dominated by men of less than noble character. Kelsier finds her, suspects she is Mistborn, and takes her under his wing. Even though Vin thinks Kelsier is mad and that his plan will never work, because Vin is all about survival and Kelsier can show her how to be stronger, she decides to accept his mentorship. Also, Vin is attracted and bewildered by this thieving crew who seems to trust each other, she wants to wait around to see if it's real.

Mistborn is about a girl discovering her powers, it is about overthrowing a god, and making a 1000 year empire fall to the ground.

The Well of Ascension is about Vin growing up a little more, stabilizing a newly born society, and fighting off previously unknown enemies. It's about help from unlikely places and betrayal from others. It's about changing perspectives and trying to befriend others who are very different from ourselves.

What are these two stories most deeply about? Trust. Learning to trust and how a life filled with trust, though it makes you more vulnerable in some ways, is a better and more fulfilling life. In Mistborn Vin learns to trust her friends, to trust those she comes to view as family. In The Well of Ascension she continues to learn of this trust and also the trust which must accompany a more exclusive love.

These stories are about how trusting relationships can allow you to grow, discover who you are, to laugh freely, and let your guard down both physically and emotionally. They are about overcoming a very dark past, full of mistrust and valid reasons to distrust. They are about questioning whether we are being used, whether we can be loved and be useful, and being willing to be used because we love the one who needs us.

Here are two of my favorite quotes from The Well of Ascension concerning love (unfortunately I don't have access to Mistborn, because it was a library book):

“Honestly, Saze, sometimes I just think we're too different to be together...”

“At first glance, the key and the lock it fits may seem very different,” Sazed said. “Different in shape, different in function, different in design. The man who looks at them without knowledge of their true nature might think them opposites, for one is meant to open, and the other to keep closed. Yet, upon closer examination, he might see that without the one, the other becomes useless. The wise man then sees that both the lock and key were created for the same purpose.”

Another qoute by Sazed (one of my favorite characters):

“I simply offer counsel. Those who take lightly promises they make to those they love are people who find little lasting satisfaction in life.”

Both books are a decent length, but if you enjoy reading, I think they are enjoyable and worth the read. I would rate them PG-13 for violence, gore, sexual references (it doesn't go into details, but a lot of the nobility take mistresses from the Skaa) and some disturbing elements (Vin gets beat up a few times and the Skaa mistresses, by order of the Lord Ruler, have to be killed before they can have mixed blood children). Because of the violence, I would maybe place it between a PG-13 and an R.

Harry Potter, adults, and love

I definitely don't want to just wrote one book review for the whole Harry Potter series, because I feel they deserve more than that, so I'll just write about a particular thing relating to the series having to do with one of the reasons I enjoy it so much. Actually, a couple things, another thing just occurred to me.

I enjoy reading/listening to young adults books, I really do, but one thing I don't like about most of them is the fact that they almost always make out adults to be dumb or to be mistrusted. I suppose this is just catering to the fact that most of the audience are teenagers, so maybe this is how they feel toward/about adults, but you don't have to do so much to reinforce these feelings.

In contrast, though in the Harry Potter series there are a lot of awful adults (Voldemort, Harry's aunt and uncle, Bellatrix, etc., etc.), there's also Mr. and Mrs. Weasley (with their fierce love for a boy not their own), Mrs. McGonnegel (with her strict but loyal heart), Dumbeldore (with his trust and belief in Harry and his abilities), Haggrid (with, well everything that makes up Haggrid), Professor Lupin (with his patient wisdom), and some others as well. Harry sneaks around, gets into trouble, goes where he shouldn't go, and sometimes the adults don't trust him with as much information as they should, but there are adults that he can depend on, that he can ask advice to (if he's willing to ask), people who are proud of him, and want what's best for him. There are adults who love him and he loves them back.

The other thing I love about the series is that, as much as it promotes Harry being an independent and strong person, it also very deeply promotes friendship, companionship and love and, also, being willing to accept help from friends. As much as Harry so often wants to go out on his own, he has friends who are determined that he shouldn't have to face those trials by himself. That's one of the biggest differences between Voldemort and Harry, Harry has the ability to have loving connections with people. Ruthless people always seem to think (at least in fiction) love makes you weak, it is true that it gives you some weaknesses, some new ways in which others (those loved and enemies) can hurt you, but it can also give and lend strength. Love can give you allies whom you can trust far more than the trust you can have with allies who are ruled by fear.

On a side note, I wish the friendship trio would have been better friends with Luna Lovegood. I love her and wish I could have her as one of my friends, oddball though she is, or maybe mostly because she's such an oddball...but she's so loyal and wise (when she's not completely mad). I also would have liked to get to know Ginny and Neville better, especially since Neville comes close to being one of my very favorite male characters in literature. I love how he grows and changes.

I will end by saying, I know because they have been out for so long there's really no need to write reviews on any of them, but I still think I want to the next time I read the series. If you haven't read them, I encourage you to do so. I mentioned this in another review but, for the most part, the series gets better and better as it goes along. If you read the first one and think it's too amateurish and beneath your “reading level,” keep in mind the series kind of grows up as Harry does. This is also something to keep in mind when you recommend these to a kid/teen, too. When the series was first written, it was perfect, the kids who read and loved the first book developed as the series developed/was published but now, well, even though the first one is okay for a 10-year-old to read, it may not be okay for them to read the last few. The last few get into some pretty heavy stuff, have more detailed violence and death, and are just a little more “grown-up.”

Book Review for the Anne of Green Gables Series

I think I've decided that, for the most part, when I review a book from a series (at least those that are from series in which all the books have already been published), I will review the series as a whole instead of the books individually. In the case of the Anne books, I almost feel like this is a betrayal of sorts because this is one of my very favorite series and Anne is my favorite female literary character. I know some may laugh at my so loving Anne, saying she is not a tremendously complex character or a brilliant literary creation but, frankly, I am more than a little in love with her and would marry her if I could (for those of you who don't know, the series follows her into adulthood).

What they're about: kindred spirits, love, bosom friends, imagination, simple joys, loss, life's little adventures, scrapes (the predicament kind), humor, stubbornness, love's softening nature, orphans, building “castles in the sky” and how sometimes our dreams change and are fulfilled in ways we didn't expect. They are about changing your expectations about your life, being willing and open enough to other people that you are able to change your expectations about them as well. They are about growing up, becoming more somber, but maintaining the dancing laughter behind your eyes...and sometimes still dancing and frolicking when you are by yourself or with kindred spirits.

We first meet Anne (spelled with an “e” because it's not as plain that way) as an unloved, skinny, poorly dressed orphan who can talk a mile a minute, has an imagination to be proud of, and eyes filled with the stars. The old bachelor, Matthew, and his bachelorette sister, Marilla, sent for a little boy, not a little girl but as they slowly come to realize, perhaps it was Providence which interfered to cause this “mistake.” Their busybody, sharp-tongued, kindhearted neighbor, Rachel, would probably say it was foreordained.

So Anne, after having been mistreated, unloved, and just not really having been “brought up” in her earliest years, finds herself in a home which slowly fills with love. Matthew, so shy he is virtually a recluse, is surprised to find he is almost immediately fond of this little chatty creature of an Anne and Anne finds in him, though they are seemingly so different, a “kindred spirit,” a sympathetic listener, and some of the love her heart has so long been neglected. Marilla is all hardness and sharp edges and is, at first, appalled at Anne's almost heathen ways and is almost ashamed at the mirth she experiences because of Anne's impulsive ways; but over time, through softening and development of her sense of humor, Anne finds in Marilla another loyal heart.

Before moving to her new home, Green Gables, Anne has only had a little “mirror girl” and “echo girl” as friends (aka imaginary), though she has always longed for a “bosom friend.” Upon meeting her neighbor, Diana, whose looks personify how Anne herself longs to look, Anne soon has them swear to undying friendship, an oath they keep throughout their lives despite obstacles being put in their way. Diana is a raven-haired, dimply girl, who is sweet as can be and who, though she lacks much imagination, is glad to return Anne's wholehearted love.

And then there's Gilbert, who though he's a handsome, sweet-hearted lad, enjoys teasing the girls. On his first day of meeting Anne, he manages to utter a teasing word which earns him enmity for years to come, despite his wanting to make it up and to be friends.

I suppose I am just covering the first book after all or maybe just introducing the characters. The most important thing to keep in mind is, if you like the first one, don't forget there are more! I believe there are very few series in which the following books are as good as the first, and this is one of those rare series. I deeply enjoy the first one and I deeply enjoy all the others as well. One critic said that the series feels very much like a serial, there are only a few loose threads which run between books, and it feels like there are not many overarching themes, but I have never felt this way. In each book we are introduced to new characters, some old major characters do not play as big a role, and Anne lives in a different place in almost every book...but that is how my life is, I drift from place to place and, except for a central core, the main characters in my life change; maybe that's one reason I so like the series.

Yet another critique some may bring against the series, and I have vaguely thought it myself on occasion, is that there are too many happy coincidences and too much good luck on Anne's part, both in her relationships and circumstances, but to think that is to not learn one of the series' greatest lessons; that hard work, whether it be in life or in relationships, pays off. Anne finds along her way more kind hearts and “kindred spirits” than she originally thought she would, but this is largely because she believes the best of people and works hard to draw their best out, even when it is buried under pain, grumpiness, contrariness, or sorrow. Also, opportunities come her way because she has “gumption” and works very hard for them. Beyond all this, there is perhaps the feeling that God or Providence does guide some things in our life, sometimes he does cause blessings to come our way and wonderful people to cross our paths, especially if we are on the lookout for those blessings and greet them with wonder-filled eyes and open hearts.

This series, more than any other, makes me often tear up with “happy tears,” each book is achingly sweet, though without being cheesy. Also, Anne's and her friends scrapes often make you smile. So if you are a young lady, a woman young at heart, or “of the race of Joseph” (a sensitive soul who loves to dream and cherish books as old friends), I encourage you to read not only the first in this series, but all of them. I think you will far from regret it and will make some new friends.

  P.S. These books were first read aloud to me and my older sisters by my mother and aunt. I think reading aloud, even after children begin to read for themselves, is a wonderful idea. Among other reasons, it allows children to ask questions about any of the issues being dealt with (loss, neglect, adoption, preconceived notions, etc.). Also, I just think it is a wonderful bonding opportunity, something to do as the kids settle down for sleep...and may even help them unwind from this over stimulating world that we now live in.

I would rate this series G maybe verging on PG. The PG would be because some of them deal with loss and death. Also, though Anne does not directly speak it, she hints at having been hit by one of the men (an alcoholic) who was the father in one of her earliest “homes.”

Book Review of The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

The first time I read this I was in college. It was a book that one person owned and then it was just passed among friends, which, for some reason, I think is appropriate for this book. I remember the first time I finished it, I was in the car and near the end, it made me want to throw up, it just made me feel ill. I guess I should say, before moving on, the very final "flavor in your mouth" is more pleasant. Once I got to the end of it, I looked out of the window for a long time, and then proceeded to read the whole thing again.

I just recently checked it out from the library and found the time to read it in two days. It's not an "adventure book," it's not necessarily gripping in its excitement, but it is hard to put down once you get into it.

Perks of Being a Wallflower is a coming-of-age story about a deeply feeling boy named Charlie. He watches people and understands them, he's a secret keeper for almost everyone and that can be one of the most isolating feelings of all. So Charlie begins to anonymously write letters to a mystery someone "because she said you listen and understand and didn't try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have," so he doesn't have to keep so many secrets bottled up inside. Those letters are what make up the structure of the book and how the story is told. I am a huge fan of letters, maybe that is one reason why I love this book. Another reason is because I can relate to Charlie, though I have not tried some of the things he has and I do not think I am as passive in my relationships as he often is.

We start out the book with Charlie not really having any friends at all and soon find out that the boy he was closest to has "passed on." Which, I guess, is one reason Charlie starts the letters. Once he goes to high school Charlie is soon adopted by Patrick (a enthusiastic, quirky, boy) and Sam (a lovely, crazy girl). Although I don't think the line is said in the book, in the trailer of the film someone in Charlie's new peer group says, "Welcome to the island of misfit toys," which I think suits Charlie and his group of friends perfectly. Sam and Patrick see Charlie for what he is, a Wallflower, and value him for it. Maybe this is another reason so many people love the book, because there is a part in all of us that hopes to have friends which put up with us, understand us, and are as patient with us as Patrick and Sam are with Charlie...even if they are messed up.

Perhaps so many people like it because a part of them hopes Charlie is writing to them, trusts them enough to share his secrets with them. Or maybe it's like one reviewer said, the story reminds many of their own high school days, of old friends or misfits, and has echos of their own stories within it.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is about relationships, trust, understanding who others are and who you are. It's about relating to others, trying to give your loved ones what they need, and learning you sometimes have to ask or guess and realize what you think they need is totally different than what they truly do. It's thinking about what shapes us and what shapes others, what causes us to expect the “love” we do, and, hopefully, makes us self-aware enough to give and receive a truer type of love. It's about kisses, fear, mix tapes, and monsters lurking from the past. It's about finding people with whom you can feel "infinite." It's about growing up.

I would give it a content rating of PG-13, nearing a possible R rating. This is for drugs, language, underage drinking, violence, sex (though it doesn't go into any details), and some disturbing situations. Also, if non-heterosexual relationships bother you, maybe you shouldn't read this book. One of the main characters is gay and part of the book deals with them having to figure out how they can love the person they want to love in a time and place where it is difficult to do that.

P.S. Somehow I missed the movie in the theaters, but I am SO excited to see it. Perhaps I will add-on a review of that once I have seen it.