Tuesday, October 28, 2014

A Little Tangent About That Grocery Item You Always Forget You Already Have

I don't think I'm the only one that does this. I know at least one of my aunts told me she does (though her often bought item is sauerkraut). You go to the grocery store and get things you think you need and, even if you have a list, you pass by that one thing and think, “I'm not sure I have any of that, I think I may need it,” only to get home and discover you already have not one but multiple boxes/cans/etc. waiting for you.

For me that item is refried beans. I have not one but four cans of refried beans and, on the rare occasion I use them, one can can get me through two or three meals. Refried beans are about the least versatile food there is, it's basically have them in a tortilla, on a tortilla, or with tortilla chips.

Why can't my item be something like chicken? You can fix chicken a million different ways. You can invite friends over for chicken and not have your living room be filled with noxious odors if your friends stick around.

Or bacon? If it was bacon I could be one of the manliest men around. “You guys want to come over later to watch the game? Instead of chips and dip I'm serving bacon and dip. I even made some cups...out of bacon.”

I would probably have a troupe of man's best friend just waiting outside my door, because, well, one man can only eat so much bacon before he starts to share. Just think of all those wagging tails that could be waiting for me.

But no, my item is refried beans, so I shall sit here all alone and contemplate how much methane I can produce as compared with cows. And hey, I think the beans have lard in them, which is kind of related to bacon. Also, according to that wise old rhyme, they're good for your heart.

*Note: I actually went to my parents house tonight and fried a bunch of fish and had a lot of other stuff, too, so I'm not really sitting all alone with a can of beans...though I may be some time in the future. I also never watch “the game,” I'm just not that interested in any of them.

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